Things You Should Never Do In Pitch Meetings

tl;dr : don't be creepy

Unlike most industries, there's no single codified path to breaking into Hollywood.

You don't put together a resume, address it to “Warner Brothers”, and hope you get hired as a staff writer and get promoted over a period of several years. You don't, as my grandmother once advised me, "ask Steven Spielberg for help" because he "seems like a nice man." 

Like with pretty much every job ever, you get hired because of a mixture of your work, connections, and yes, your personality.

Writing a great script is half the battle. The other half is just being or pretending to be a likeable person. At the end of the day, the odds are there isn't something they're working on that second that is 100% right for you, but if you're a cool person and you've given them enough detail to remember you by, your name will go on a list of writers to consider for future opportunities. And that's really what you're trying to achieve at the end of it all.

And screenwriters are always being told what they should say in Hollywood pitch or general meetings. While there is a plethora of excellent advice in that respect, it’s what screenwriters shouldn’t say that really makes or breaks those first impressions.

Here are some all too common mistakes that the powers that be hear all too often and wish they never had to hear again.

1. DON’T ACT DESPERATE

It’s kind of like with dating. Producers and buyers can smell desperation and it’s a turn off. They probably know you have a raging boner to work with them, but you don’t want it to be obvious. Be kind, but confidant. Be open to suggestions for revision, but don’t start your pitch with any sort of apology about how much more work there is to be done on the idea before it’s perfect. Also, don’t kiss their ass and gush about every single thing they’ve produced.

2. “I JUST HAVE A PASSION FOR TELLING STORIES…”

You know when the teacher in the Peanuts cartoons talks unintelligibly (Wa-wa-wa)? Everything after that opening sentence is what the powers that be hear. Get over yourself. Everyone in Hollywood has that story or a variation of it.