Do Women Care About Money When Dating?

My fondest childhood memory is thinking $20 is a lot of money.

A few weeks ago, I posted some money related confessions from creatives.

One that stuck with me and I couldn’t stop thinking about was someone who admitted she was looking for a partner that made more money than her. She felt a little guilty for being a “low key gold digger”.

The gold digger trope also comes with the idea that the woman is manipulative, ensnaring a man under false pretenses to rob his money. Let’s be honest, most of the time, the exchange is extremely clear. The 50+ year-old man is with the 20-year-old because she’s hot and young, not for her wit and personality. And the 20-year-old is with the much older guy for his money and the comfort of living that comes with it, not his physical attractiveness or all the life experiences they will be able to share. It’s not manipulation when everyone knows what is going on.

I once read a this tweet that said:

“I want the term "gold digger" to include dudes who look for a woman who will do tons of emotional labour for them”

I find this incredibly important, because it underlines just one element that women often provide in a relationship, that men take for granted, without being given a derogatory name or vilified. Why should we judge those women looking for money in a relationship any more than those men looking for a pretty woman to look good next to them? Or men looking for an ever-supportive wife to give them the cheerleading they need to succeed? They are equally shallow reasons to enter into a marriage, yet only those women seeking money are called out for it.

If a guy feels like women are only interested in his money, that may be the only thing he can offer them, and this is linked to which women he will seek out. If an older man only goes for younger women, they are less likely to be interested in his looks, in what they have in common because they will have entirely different life experiences. If men want women that are interested in them, they should aim for women with whom they have similar interests. If men want to be treated as humans not as walking wallets, they should go for women that they see and treat as humans, not trophies.

But let’s just cut to the chase.